Get up, Stand up
by Start Stop Go
Summary: A dream for someone could be an existence for someone else. A story of Sora and Roxas. Songfic.


**Title:** Get Up, Stand Up  
**Authoresses:** ehblahbing and Baka Shojo

**Warnings:** Songfic, slight craziness and obsession from Sora, maybe a tilt towards slash, possible spoilers for games, probable repetition, and etc.  
**Disclaimers:** Lyrics from Stellar Project and Brandi Emma. Kingdom Hearts from Square Enix.

_No one can hear the things I whisper  
No one but you can hear the sound of my soul  
Don't run away from me, I need you  
I'm gonna' follow you, wherever you go_

Sora didn't know when he stopped denying being Roxas. It just seemed as if after a while, he knew who Roxas was and he couldn't reject him. Sora didn't understand how he could feel like that when he never met Roxas before. And Roxas didn't even have a heart; he was a Nobody, for Pete's sake!

But somewhere in Sora's heart, if he still had one after using Riku's key blade two years ago, Sora can hear a voice calling, sadly, lonely. When did he start hearing this voice? When did he start to care about what he - no, it - said? When did he start caring about what Roxas wants, what Roxas needs?

All Sora knows is that he never felt an urge to be away from Roxas, even if he still denied knowing him. (That didn't make any sense to anybody, but it was alright with Sora. This didn't involve anyone except Roxas and himself.) Sora couldn't understand it very well, but he knew that Roxas was somehow a part of who he is- a part of Sora.

Sora can't run away from Roxas, because wherever he goes, everyone keeps talking about Roxas, Roxas, Roxas. And Sora doesn't really feel like he needs to run away from Roxas, only that they need to stay together. In a way, it felt like wherever Roxas goes, Sora goes. And vice versa.

When did he start feeling this way? When did Sora start thinking like this?

_Get up, stand up  
Open your eyes  
Take me to the limit  
Never let me go  
Don't cry, don't lie  
Open your mind  
Come and take me over  
Make me feel alright_

As if his eyes were opened. Sora saw things in a new light. Everything seemed so new and exciting and yet dull at the same time. With each new feeling there was new light to everything. Sora was often confused by this but passed it off as puberty and hormones. He heard that "they" could change your outlook on life (and girls)…

At times he would ignore the voice - Roxas. And at times after, he would find himself crying. He knew how much he was hurting his Nobody and Sora knew he was lying but he couldn't face the fact that somebody - NO! That a Nobody - could have so much power over him.

None of this was logical, without even knowing each other they would do anything for the other to be happy. What had transpired between the two and when? Sora was often shy about the subject of Roxas. They both needed each other; Roxas even gave up everything he had just to meet the mystery Sora. At times he was sad with his decision but like Sora was, it didn't bother him like it once did.

_I feel I'm fading like the sunset  
Two moons softly, slowly into the sea  
You are the stars on my horizon  
And you are always where I need you to be_

Sora had felt everything inside him break when he heard Roxas thought he would disappear when he joined Sora. It was as if Roxas had punched him in the gut, hard. Did Roxas think of him as an enemy? Did he think Sora wanted to kill him?

Even though he already accepted the fact that he was Roxas to himself, even though sometimes he can even hear Roxas, it was really shocking. And then, seeing Roxas fade away after leaving that pain in Sora… It hurt. It felt like Sora had lost something, something really important and dear to him. But that made sense, right? Because it did to Sora. Roxas is a part of him. If Roxas faded away, then Sora lost something. See? It made perfect sense to Sora.

Except Sora doesn't know how or when he formed a close bond to Roxas.

Was it two years ago, when Riku thought of him as a traitor? When Ansem first summoned Kingdom Hearts? When Sora stabbed himself, releasing his heart - and oh my god, his heart, his heart - and Kairi's heart?

Or was it when he was sleeping for a year and hearing Roxas speak to him as an equal, even though Roxas thought he had to sacrifice himself to wake Sora - why? Why? Why? Sora wasn't a killer! Or was it when he saw Roxas for the first time? Not as a member of the Organization, but wearing normal, teenager clothing? (And why did his heart jolt when he saw Roxas? Where - or did - he get his heart back?)

When, Sora wasn't sure. They just had a close bond. And seeing the moon, remembering those two heart-shaped moons, it was strange. Those sparkling stars in the sky, countless little worlds. They were so different from Destiny Islands, so special, so unique. But each and every one of them was special to Sora because they remind him of Roxas.

Twilight Town - where Roxas woke him in the laboratory and where he cried for no reason, (but now he knows why - oh god! Sora killed him! Sora made him lose his friends! His friends forgot him!).

The World That Never Was - where Sora met Roxas for the first time, where Roxas's best friend, Axel, saved him, - And Sora killed Roxas's friend! Oh god, did Roxas hate him? - and where Roxas had faded away.

Hollow Bastion/Radiant Garden - where members of Organization XIII accosted him, mentioning Roxas and where Sora had released his heart and he never found out if he got it back or not. And Sora remembers that this is where Demyx, another Organization XIII member (Was he a friend of Roxas? An accomplice? Does Roxas like him? Does Roxas hate him for killing Demyx? Oh god, when did he become a killer?), died.

The pain in Sora's chest, while he thinks of all this, pounded loudly, like a drum, in his ears. The night sky, filled with stars, seemed to glow and Sora can almost see a constellation of Roxas.

Roxas. Roxas. Roxas.

Sora closed his eyes and laid a hand on his chest, where there was probably no heart, and thought of Roxas. Roxas, in him. Roxas, his Nobody. Roxas, his_heart_.

Roxas is in him. Roxas is his Nobody, and Sora is his Somebody. And Roxas is Sora's heart.

Roxas is right where Sora needs him to be.

Sora smiles and kept his eyes closed. Gradually, with thoughts of Roxas on his mind, he fell asleep.

_Get up, stand up  
Open your eyes  
Take me to the limit  
Never let me go  
Don't cry, don't lie  
Open your mind  
Come and take me over  
Make me feel alright_

Sora's dreams reflected everything his mind sought - Roxas. The pain, and oh, the anguish, but Roxas was there, just sitting. No smile, no nothing. Everything was like black and white. Sora was glad to finally meet Roxas, but he was sad that Roxas was sad. It was like a vortex of emotions both Sora and Roxas's. As soon as Sora understood one emotion another one would appear, his or Roxas's. It was an odd bond, but a bond no one besides them could understand.

For the longest time they stared at each other, both feeling dizzy with all the emotions flying around. When everything finally calmed down Roxas got up from his spot and walked over to Sora. For both, the small walk seemed longer than it should have. Step after step, everything kept slowing till it was almost as if Roxas wasn't walking at all. Blinking turned into a short period of black. Everything seemed to stop.

When Sora's eyes did open, however, Roxas was gone.

In the short time it really was, it seemed like hours. Of course it really was hours, but in dreams hours turned into an unlimited amount of time. Sora stared at his blue-colored ceiling. Confusing was etched over his face. The word, "why" along with the question mark, was the first word to enter Sora's head. He had been just a blink away. Tears made their way down his face.

He didn't know Roxas, but here he was crying over his Nobody. It wouldn't make sense to anybody besides Sora. He buried his head in his pillow, cursing the world.

As if Roxas's emotions were taking over, he felt conflicting emotions: anger, calm, hurt, care, stubborn, and last… Sora felt happiness.

_Get up, stand up,  
Open your eyes  
Take me to the limit  
Never let me go  
Don't cry, don't lie  
Open your mind  
Come and take me over  
Make me feel alright_

The echo of the dream, the haunting loneliness of it, haunted Sora for days afterward. Riku and Kairi had noticed it, but they didn't badger him about it. He was grateful of that and he tried to hold in his sadness. He had to be strong for Riku and Kairi. He was the Keyblade Master, after all, and it wouldn't be good for a hero to fall and never get up again.

And he couldn't continue moping around about Roxas. He had to find out how to bring Roxas out, give him an existence, because it's hurting them both so damn much. Or at least, he should talk to Roxas. Yes. That's the least he can do before he reaches all he can stand and break down.

Sometimes, when the loneliness is too strong for him to make plans, Sora would curl up into himself, imagining he wasn't alone at all. That Roxas already had a body and was comforting, hugging him. That was enough comfort for him to stop crying and continue making plans, alone. (Because, despite his wishes and imagination, Roxas was never there with him in the real world to begin with. Only in his dreams.)

The silence, the pause, suddenly hits him again. Sora laid on his bedroom floor, staring at the wooden toy ship hanging from his ceiling. It was still there after two years, and nothing had changed, except Sora added some more hand-made dolls, (Axel, Roxas, Naminè, King Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Leon, Cloud, and all of his other friends that he made on his journeys.)

A quiet whisper sounded in his mind, so quiet that Sora wasn't even sure he heard it. But he closed his eyes anyway, straining to hear that whisper, opening his mind to whomever it was that wanted to speak with him.

"Sora…-ra…-elp me… Sora!"

Sora sat up, eyes wide open. The voice sounded eerily like Roxas. But it couldn't be true! It can't! Sora thought the only way for him to hear or see Roxas was in his dreams! Quickly realizing this special moment, Sora laid back down and closed his eyes. He tried to open his mind for Roxas to come through, to come over and talk to him.

But most of all, Sora wanted him to come and relieve the loneliness and heartache he felt.

_Stay with me forever  
Call my name and I'll be there  
Follow me wherever, I will fly_

Sora was in a break - little things, something that wouldn't normally bother him (socks, doors, the color: white) would make him so mad - that all he wanted to do was scream, yell, throw chairs, push over tables, and use the keyblade and smash everything to millions of pieces. The frustration was too much that he often picked fights with some unlucky fool who got in his way.

Many a days did Sora plot and plan. Everything seemed to be good, and then he would notice a flaw. Everything seemed to be a flaw in his head, something he didn't see before. He wanted everything to be perfect! There was no space for flaws; he only had one chance to do this and he wanted to do it right.

If everyone else had noticed Sora's resolve to get Roxas his own body, they surely hinted about it, when they were sure he was in a good mood. Somewhere along the way Tidus mentioned something that would "get rid of the access weight." At first Sora thought Tidus was onto something, but when Tidus started talking about toilets, he started having his doubts. The only people who knew about Roxas were Riku and Kairi. The realization made him feel stupid. Okay, so at times things will just go over his head; it's not his fault his mind is preoccupied.

Day after day - thinking and planning, skipping meals, missing out on hours of sleep - everyone of them affecting Sora in their own ways. More than often, Sora was seen staring off into space, looking at nothing at all. Recently, though, he would mumble stuff to himself. No one knew if he was talking to Roxas or was just talking to himself.

Images, voices, plans - they were driving Sora insane.

Buried underneath all his fears, all his thoughts, Sora knew that this was for the best, even if everyone else didn't think so. Roxas, Roxas. Oh, how he wanted to meet his Nobody. He wanted them both to be free.

If Sora would have only listened, he would have heard Roxas begging him to stop, even take a break.

_Get up, stand up  
Open your eyes  
Take me to the limit  
Never let me go  
Don't cry, don't lie  
Open your mind  
Come and take me over  
Make me feel alright_

If only he would've listened. If only Sora had heard Roxas pleading for him to stop, maybe it would never have turned out like this.

Maybe Sora would never have lost so many things.

Maybe Roxas wouldn't have gained a body.

Roxas hated himself so much over it. That Sora would do so much for him, would go to that far a length, for someone who had been so angry at Sora, almost to the point of hate. Roxas feels so guilty just thinking about it. In the beginning, he had denied himself being Sora as well, had denied what Naminè had said, ("You…you were never supposed to exist, Roxas.").

But hadn't Naminè also said something like, all Nobodies were searching desperately for something? Even though he, personally, isn't searching for Kingdom Hearts, it feels like he's longing for something, so much that it hurts him, makes him feel like he has a heart. But when he's with Sora, hearing Sora say his name, it feels like that ache has been relieved.

And Roxas feels so glad that he had stood up, and followed Sora's plan, even though it cost his Somebody to lose so much. Sora, who went past his limits, sacrificed everything. Sora was his Somebody, and Roxas wasn't sure if he wanted to leave him anymore, not even for Axel.

From the other corner of the room Sora and Roxas now share, Roxas could hear someone crying softly. The sniffles were mixed in with a few snores, so Roxas knew Sora was asleep, crying. But Roxas doesn't like it. Once again, his self-hate hits him hard. Why did Sora have to try so hard?

_"Sora… Sora, stop, please! Sora, stop hurting yourself!" Roxas pleaded as loudly as he can in their combined minds. Why can't Sora hear him? Roxas wants to cry so much, but his nonexistent heart doesn't let him. He wants to feel like he's worried, but he knows he's only acting. But he really is afraid that Sora will collapse in exhaustion._

_Sora kept pushing himself, everyday, to keep planning and plotting. Sora's mind is always busy nowadays, and the flurry of thoughts are almost painful for Roxas to bear. But the thing that scares Roxas the most is that Sora is neglecting the very friends he fought Organization XIII to protect._

_Riku and Kairi are often left alone at the islands, and Sora would go to libraries and book stores, trying to find information on Heartlesses, Nobodies, and creating a body. He never finds anything, but he leaves everyone worried._

_Roxas wished he could tell Sora to open his mind and just listen to him. Roxas would tell him to stop, stop bothering, and to stop trying and end up disappointing himself. Roxas can't stand it. His Somebody, the Keyblade Master, sad and disappointed is something hard to bear. Just because Roxas doesn't have a heart, doesn't mean Sora's emotion-receptive (and vice versa) ability doesn't work. Since they're joined as one, Roxas could feel everything Sora feels, and know that it's Sora's feelings._

_Suddenly, Sora gave an, "Ah-ha!" sound. Roxas jumped up, surprised. What had happened now? Did Sora finally make a breakthrough? (Roxas silently cursed the small ray of hope in his heart that MUST belong to Sora, because Roxas can't have a heart.) But why was the feeling growing stronger? Why was his body feeling light, yet heavy at the same time? Why is the darkness in Sora's mind lightening?_

_What's happening?_

_As soon as he thought that, Roxas gained control of Sora's body._

_"Oh my god, what happened?" Roxas gasped to himself. The sudden solid feel was different than before. He could somehow feel everything now. His hands skimmed down his body, as if they were now aware there was a body._

_And then, in his mind, he heard Sora calling. "Roxas? Roxas, are you there?"_

_Quickly, Roxas thought back, "Sora? What did you do?"_

_Roxas could hear the smile and relief in Sora's voice. "I found a spell in Ansem's Notes. It allowed me to bring you to the front. I think I can find another spell that can create a body and move you into it."_

_Roxas couldn't explain how he felt. (Feeling emotions is a weird experience, but Roxas enjoys it.) "Thank you, Sora."_

_"Don't worry. Do you think you can let go now, so I can continue finding that spell?"_

_"Okay." And when Roxas loses his control, he feels for a moment, a very brief second, that he was happy. Even though Sora is almost exhausted, Roxas feels sure that Sora will be alright, as long as he gets a body._

_Get up, stand up  
Open your eyes  
Take me to the limit  
Never let me go  
Don't cry, don't lie  
Open your mind  
Come and take me over  
Make me feel alright_

Why did Sora have to do so much? So much for just a Nobody… It should be him suffering. He wasn't supposed to exist and by living, by being his own person, he messed up everything that was supposed to be. In the bed next to him, Sora stirred, he was still crying. The guilt was getting to Roxas, he wasn't used to these emotions, they were something new, exciting…but defective.

With the emotions, Roxas's thoughts changed. He often thought of what he could have done to change all this, what he could have done to save Axel. Guilt. He was happy to be alive, but at the same time, he was sad that all his friends couldn't celebrate it with him. His friends wouldn't know who he was.

"Roxas?" A pause. "Are you okay?" Roxas could have lied, put on a fake smile, and pretended to be happy, but Sora would know better. So he just kept quiet. The silence was calming after all.


End file.
